Forces to quit jobs to stay home with the severe individual, living in near poverty, and always fighting to get your child disability services. I know exactly how you feel. You should have SOME idea of what autism is and what its not, but it seems like youre making up your own symptoms because thats how YOUR child is. This post is just totally off. Their kids still have PTSD, no matter how lovingly they were abused. Parents have those worries about any child, but when you have a child with Autism those are much more intense, i cry myself to sleep some nights thinking about it. One time by biting it. Let it be. In the beginning, I wasnt recognizing that certain places we went, my daughter was in distress so she would elope or melt down. Compiled with ableist threats of suicide and counter congruent co-shaming its basically gaslighting. I dont think theres a right or a wrong here. It is part of human nature. Autism is suddenly a disqualifier to be a mommy blogger or vlogger? They can still communicate, you just arent listening. While I agree that there is a time and place for everything, to say that a parent has no right to express frustration about their child is bogus. Even people who are just looking for a sentimental video, but dont have one autistic in their lives themselves. She gets no sympathy from me. The problem here isnt the teachers, most of whom are going beyond duty for the children. You probably didnt even read the article. Does it mean we love our children any less?! Thats how we treat him, thats how we talk about him, and thats how we expect the world to treat him as well. His own family? We dont know if hell be able to regain the losses he has experienced once he has school again. There is so much you have no idea about. However there are real limitations to what can be done in a classroom with students. You have no idea what it is to live it. At FIVE years old. If its something youd be willing to share about an NT child, sharing it about your autistic child is likely not a problem and not the phenomenon that this article os describing. Older autistic children may enjoy setting up their toys in scenes. Its just that you have got to change the way you think or view things. Talk about kicking people when they are down. Being attacked by your own child. She is anything but a bad person. When the world is spinning around you, pause and look within yourself taking note of your emotions and bodily sensations. Stop shaming the moms of severely autistic kids. As an autistic person and a parent to an autistic child, Im begging you. Her concerns are real. My daughter knows she has some hurdles to overcome due to her autism but not coddle them cuz life wont coddle them and how are you preparing them for when your gone. The moral police dont get to decide how other people deal with difficult emotions. It can be overwhelming. Im sorry, maybe your autistic kid is manageable. Best to you and your family! Solving the medical problem may make the SIB disappear. How do we expect autistic children to get the kindness and understanding they need while the world strips the same from the people caring for them? Would you prefer they tell a family-member and have it get back to their kid one day? Do you put your own clothes on before you wander outside in below freezing temperatures? Your son smearing fecal matter in your face is communication. Yes, any parent would complain about any child and we do! Please feel free to submit articles to enhance the knowledge Most kids who are autistic ARE identifiable as autistic . Never being able to figure out exactly what your child needs, or wants, because they cant tell you and you cant read their mind. The more issues you have (like autism) the harder and more difficult life becomes. Especially if your child is severely affected, AND UNABLE TO SELF ADVOCATE, he needs a translator, i.e., his mom, his primary caregiver. Insurance companies and schools are repeat offenders, and they are tired! Theres no hidden child underneath the Autism. I know it can feel very lonely but your not alone Brittany. If youre frustrated with your child, talk about it with a friend, spouse, counselor, support group, etc. Ive treated my oldest the same as my youngest and guess whather counselor said my daughter is learning empathy which is surprising to her. This article could have been written without refering to Kate and finding coopers voice. Assume that your child is struggling, not intentionally misbehaving. It would have been a opinion and that is ok. You are saying that she shames her son, so what are you doing then? I would not need to give up my life and my energy for their constant care and well being. Having to cook special foods because your child will only eat a few types of foods or worst case, feeding tubes because they wont eat at all,and they will starve themselves. Raising a child with autism is a nightmare I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Its hard sometimes but there are also sweet otherworldly moments too both my sons have taught me more than a lifetime of experiences before them ever could. It is an insult to momsplain that behavior is communication. This is not a "different way of seeing the world" that he has, or "a wonderful gift." This is a child about to be 9 years old who can not say "mum" or use a bathroom himself. How dare you? If a child doesn't believe that you will respect verbal or alternative communication, they may act out due to the belief that it is the only way to be acknowledged. And yes it is a burden. Id give anything, painful as it would be, for him to be able to read even this BS and respond himself as to how messed up it is. But at the end of the day, they will still have autism. No matter what, our kids deserve dignity and respect, even in our worst moments. Please apologize to this mama (and all the other ones out there) for telling her not to speak her voice. He is now 65 tall but sees himself as a very small child so he can scare small children, as he is still wanting to play in the sandbox or baby pool and playgrounds . It wasnt that long ago that saying ANYTHING negative about parenting was taboo. They would grow to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and individualized on their own. Beautifully written! And how can I fulfill them while respecting my child and their needs? Anime you wonder if what youre saying is appropriate, replace the word autistic with black or gay and see if it still sounds good. We talk about the things the HIGH functioning authkr.doesnt understand-tell me that if I vent about my son fecal smearing, would it be overreacting to vent and talk about it and share? are you kiddding me?? Yes, I am someone who was treated as an inconvenience and a burdenfor 50 years. Just hold tight. I know its true for me. Look, having kids makes life harder as much as it makes life fulfilling. This article was co-authored by Luna Rose. Im all for people letting the horrible truth of autism hang out. The fact that there are support groups to share experiences and vent is exactly what the author points out. A LACK of empathy. They gave birth to a disabled child so i guess they deserve what they get. Nasty woman. Avoid organizations that aren't run by autistic people, or treat autism as an enemy to be eradicated, such as. Life consists of dodging his punches, kicks, slaps, and bites, and changing diapers. Parenting is hard. So given that min 25% of typical kids have other speical needs. Everyone needs one, autistic, neurotypical, living with a mental illness, or not diagnosed. Maybe Some of you people are fortunate enough to have an autistic kid that doesnt make yours and everyone around you difficult and at times just plain awful. Besides its not like you even want, like/love, or care about your child. For example, if your wife likes spicy spaghetti and your daughter cries when given spice, place the spice shakers on the table instead of mixing spice into the sauce. YOUR brain may be fine just the way it is, but something happened to my healthy, typically developing baby boy and he got seizures and lost words, started toe walking, got a horrible rash, allergies, and regressed into full blown autism a neurological DISORDER. I know she feels my ambivalence. Yeah, I bet. Life can be stressful for autistic people, which can result in some behavior that is difficult for parents and caregivers to respond to. Every single last internal concurring issue that isnt my Autism nor ADHD has been overlooked, therefore slowly, but surely, Im moving over to the societal low functioning scale. Why? Shes human with rough life circumstances that broke down and reached out for support in a moment of weakness. People may well read this and say your not like my child or Youre too high functioning (both of which are irrelevant, its a judgement based on typed words, they dont know me and even if those things were to be correct, they do not make my words or the other persons childs experience any less valid) but some parents need to think about what they say and put out there. Always consult a doctor before altering a child's diet. Allen, Francis. What youre saying is: please dont include retard people in my exclusive spectrum what the F are you? And you know what? I have never had a student with any kind of special needs which dont take more then their fair share of individual help which does mean other kids do miss out and individual help that they could use too. People dont seem to understand either that we may not see things in the same way, we may live in very different ways, we may not speak with our mouth parts.but we do know. But usually they can fend for. Well, as an autistic adult who is struggling badly with self-worth and Googling Am I a Burden? these abusive, unhinged comments have clearly allowed me to see that its actually not me thats a problem for existing. Do you have any experience with severe autism? You have no idea what it is like to watch your child suffer everyday from self injurious behaviors, uncontrollable stims, anxiety, depression, fear at every new person and sound. I am the mother of a severely autistic child and this life sucks I belong to a support group where we share it all. I dont have the time to teach them based on their particular interests. Presumably, because no one would ever love her son enough to grieve when he dies. Serious sleep problems. For people posting that High-Functioning Autistics are nothing like my kid- sometimes they are. If somehow you are not suffering fears and worries about your child (the one with autism) in the future COMPARED to typical children, then you are both zen and lucky indeed. Saying you wouldnt say these things about your normal child why would you abut the one that is autistic. Would you cry in your car about how your childs future is terrible because it isnt what you wanted? If youre complaining about your autistic children online for the world to see, thats the impression that those people have on autism and autistic people in general. Yes, she said some uncomfortable things but also more importantly said that all she wants is for her child to be HAPPY! Its scary to think about the future when your child may need lifetime care. My parents are far from perfection, but if they made something like this to me I would publicly shame them back and/or kill myself. Why does it look like they do it like a breeze. The people who mistreat him will take ammunition from articles and videos talking about the hell of Autism, and thats all it will take. Eating enough food is more important than eating nutritious food. These groups in which Parents share intimate details about their disabledchilds meltdowns, bathroom struggles, medical histories, and more without hesitation., are often all that we have for support- the only other people that understand or know what we go through. Period. I know what Blog you are speaking about and I have to be honest, her blog brought me great comfort knowing I wasnt alone as a parent. Im one of the lucky high-functioning ones & even I was a burden to parent. 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