Dont EXPECT him to show up for it, but try to share it with him a little bit. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. So hes stopped making an effort because it doesnt matter. You can change how you respond to your boyfriend and everything else in your life. Maybe what you see as your boyfriends lack of effort is simply a normal part of being in a solid, comfortable relationship. So..instead of taking to his office or doing it later. Has financial debt, related to college expenses. Haha. Thats it.. theres nothing more than that. If I try to tell him how much I care he insists I dont. And thats is the absolute best you can do. He gets annoyed and sighs and does the What do you want from me now?? He keeps telling me that if I think relationships are only about anniversaries and dates, giving each other a label, cheesy stuff, then for him it isnt meaningful. wishful thinking: wanting to be wanted deeply wanted to feel like a woman kisses, grabbed, eye gazed wanting to be complimented and acknowledged. I feel so let down all the time when I really am not asking for much. We go no where, we do nothing. Each weekend he has been helping his DJ friend ( his BFF), or going out with best buddies. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? Maybes its best we leave it and not have to try so hard with the next person. hes always busy at work. I have three jobshe has one, Ive been threatened in relationships/emotionally abusedhe was cheated on. Unless he drank to much then he was argumentative and yucky. it sounds like you two need to have a serious conversation about where you both stand. Men just are good at keeping it closed up. That is an abusive, toxic relationship and you deserve so much better! Hopefully, these reasons will let you know the answer if you are wondering why did he stop talking to me. I want to make things work. I can sorta relate to you, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but our relationship took off really quickly, and he seemed like the perfect boyfriend for the first month, but after that, its seemed like Ive gradually lost his respect. With him, he tried very hard to get the first couple dates with me and he didnt stop. Antidepressents can be a good way to start on the road back to normal just to give you some emotional stability. When I got back to our dorm that night I ft him and told him it felt right but It was also an accident. Love your reply and I agree with it all Im struggling right now as Im conflicted with wht to do how long do you wait how long do you keep understanding he has issues he is dealing with but makes minimal effort with our relationship.. Im just sad angry and confused. His complaint is that no matter what he does is never enough and that I dont contribution anything. He tells me I could come over to his familys Thanksgiving, but only after everyone has left and only for leftovers (aka forgo my Thanksgiving dinner with my family and eat reheated sides). he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. Is like he is taking his frustration with having no control at work out on me. As of now, we have been back together in a relationship for about a year and a half. Nothing. Now he wants us to not meet more than 2 times per week, even if none of us are working or studying full time at the moment. I forgot the bin was being collected and it was due to arrive in a few hours, he didnt take it out. I love him so so much and I LOVE spending time with him. My boyfriend and I have known each other since I was 18 years old. For a while there I was wondering if he was a narcissist, player or just using me. This is my first affair and his 2nd. Then he will call and say he thinks he will just wait until Sunday morning to come down, Sunday morning he says maybe that afternoon. we were back in the honeymoon stage for a few months and then he slowly started resenting me. .he is older than me 5 years older and I started dating him because I thought he was mature but every time we fought he puts me down telling me Im fat, Im disgusting, no one will ever want meabout a year ago I went through something where I needed all the support I could get and he left me and didnt have my back..10 years later we have no sex and its always in excuse as to why we are not having ithe continues to call me names and everytime I tell him my true feelings it seems like he dosent care, Ive asked him if he would like to try and start all over because I would still wanna be with him and he agrees and says yes and once again we keep going like through this cycle that never ends..I just wanna be happy at this point I dont know why he dosent try a little harder but Im tired. Those arent just low relationship expectations, theyre unhealthy patterns of behavior. This guy is not going to do that for you. I have trust issues as well. As stated above, knowing what your boyfriend is going through (ex trauma, personal grief, work load) is important and all, but also knowing how you would act if you were in a similar situation gives you answers and peace. Also, and Im not materialistic by any means, hes offered to buy me lots of things or even just give me money to help with bills. I just see so many girls that have boyfriends who do so much to keep them happy, it just feels like my boyfriend stopped trying. But we were young and didnt need fancy dates. Dont let your wishes control your thoughts and feelings. This is all so contradictory and Im confused about our relationship. When Your Husband Still Works With His Ex Affair Partner. Then it was our anniversary two days later.he forgot. However, if my boyfriend was gaming with another girl I would have broken up with him. I sometimes wonder if my daughter was dating someone like him, if Id tell her to ditch him. I envisioned a life time ahead of feeling let down by this person. Recently I even paid half of his carnote because he didnt have the money until next week & I couldnt get my hair or nails done. And he certainly isnt going to change without a real reason, e.g., losing someone he cares about. He doesnt call me much. Honestly this lockdown really changed my relationship! Right now hes not even talking to me. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. In Feb it will be our 6 year anniversary. I encouraged him to ask for help through his cohort and luckily one of them came through and got him this great job at the investment firm he works at. I got upset and she said she was done being friends with me so yeah that happened. I am very fortunate to be free from that. I stayed because I felt that I deserved to hear those things, I was being enlightened about what others saw in me but were just too polite to say to me. So my boyfriend and I will have been together for a year this november. Thats it. He is so patronizing and cold and arrogant towards me like now he does not need me since he was opened up and exposed to all these new awesome, smart, relatable people. We live together also, in a large house he bought with his ex. any improvement? It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. And think about the other person not just about yourself. He said he wanted to have a deeper talk about expectations and his four years old son before we can be official. because that can be so self-fulfilling trust me). Anything and Everything in hopes he would think maybe he should do the same. I recently said I needed a romantic date, and other things kept coming up. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. He didnt court me. Ive even used different approaches, including positive reinforcement. Its exhausting when you are the one doing the heavy lifting. He just had to show up with his stuff. I have to fix myself and thats the problem with people now adays. He ignored me for a week 1/2 I thought he dumped me an i had mental breakdowns every night and day..I finally get an email from him asking to zoom and i zoomed him. Why doesnt he ever randomly surprise me, try to plan out dates, put a lot of thought into gifts, etc. Not texting me as often, not asking when we are going to hangout again. This is really helpful. I am like at the I dont know what to do stage right now my boyfriend is not even home because I told him to just leave we got together super fast and since the beginning I noticed that he wasnt affectionate at all but I thought he might be shy but as time passed he still is non affectionate at all! Meet new people, and make quality friends who youd rather spend time with and make him feel that he is not the ONLY one you have, but a choice you have made to spend some time of your life with. That will drive you crazy too. Im not sure where you landed with your relationship, but I hope things are better for you. So if it really werent for zoey (our dog) I wouldnt have gone on that second date with him (because I just cant say no to seeing puppies). Is Your Boyfriends Mother Ruining Your Relationship? No boyfriend in the world can fill the emptiness that only God can fill. That will show me he doesnt plan on committing for the long haul. I love my partner but I just feel like Im too smothering to him, I thought this was how you ought to be in a relationship. What do you think? Surprising me with letters, giving me flowers and just little things like opening the door for me. I used to think eventually wed work through the kinks and finally stop arguing. When ALL grocery stores near us are closed saying I dont feel like cooking tonight, we dont have all the ingredients so I say ok why is it that you didnt notice this when you got home from work when stores were open? It is almost like I was forcing him to show that he cared. Everything now has become a tit-for-tat pissing match competition for control and autonomy. We live like 30-35 minutes away but I have friends who have relationships similar and they see their boyfriends all the time. Its hard for me to let go and try when he is not trying enough and only notices the negative things. Like we will be having a nice time and something sets him off and he just spirals. Because then they they think they can control and manipulate us. The point is if a man cares enough about his future wife and son would he want them to be safe and help them move to become a family.. Kiki, I do not like what you said about being the one who travels back and forth. It may be time to reassess your relationship. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? He just doesnt understand why. He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. This weekend I called for a break, and told him we should spend time apart. And making me look like a beast, I spoke with that lady and she felt bad for the text she send me, she even offered to take me out, I agreed to that, she was telling me how his boyfriend has been suspecting the two of them, how his boyfriend has been mistreating Herr and my guy has been always their for her, I believed everything she was telling me, I was still angry with my guy because he lied, one Sunday I received a call from my boyfriends friend, he told me that my guy has been having an affair with his girlfriend from January, he even showed me some photos, my guy and that lady were kissing, even he bought flowers for her on valentines day, I couldnt believe that the guy Ive known for 2yrs can do that to me, after the news I went to my guys house at 9pm, guess what? I been communicating with him about his lack of effort , no improvement. I was still jus tholding it together because at least I have my boyfriend who will care for me for once instead of me constantly caring for others needs! At first, he was working, seeing his daughter, making me coffee in the morning, starting my car for me, doing dishes, and laundry and now ten months in, he lost his job, and I have no idea if hes looking for a job. For our year and a half anniversary I didnt have money at the time and we were fighting a lot but I made him a good luck bracelet and wrote him a very personal card. I can tell you have much love for him but imagine how good itll be to love someone that has that same love and 10x more for you. Within the past 2 years. THEY ARE DRINKING AN BECOME LAZY. i want to try to talk to him about it since we never argued or anything but ive been feeling this way for quite a while and i dont want to just break up with him like that. I suppose I could explain all this to him when he asks if I am upset with him because I am not replying so quickly, but I am nervous about making things weird between us on the project. he told me he loved me which he hasnt said in a week 1/2 i was shocked.. he acted normal but careless. I get so exhausted and mad that I says things hurtful accidentally such as you do nothing around here! I have asked him on several occasions to make more of an effort but it ends up in an argument. Men go through depression, hurt and sorrow just like us women do. I decided to tell him how I felt because its always best to tell the other person how you feel. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! I HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT IT IN THE PAST, AND HE JUST SAYS THIS IS WHAT IT IS. When I text, he ignores them for hours even when he is online in the meantime. Because you are a happy individual yourself, he would feel lucky to share his life with you. Girl what? I hope things get better. i think if i knew he wasnt capable of doing these things i wouldnt feel so strongly. We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. Even sent follow up warnings and he still didnt do anything this Valentines Day. I told him i was confused and he said he was dealing with smthn and didnt feel like saying what it was but instead he took it out on me. I truely love him i said i ll forgive. He just argues about small and insignificant things such as a goodnight call or text. Im a mum of one and I feel if we move in he will leave it all to me. But still hes everything I want and need. Wow, this article was just what I wanted to hear, Im currently on a break with my boyfriend, he doesnt put effort at all and I had finally reached breaking point, I have to complain about something before he does something about it, one day I broke my hand and he was busy entertaining his boss and colleagues and he never took time to step aside and ask how Im doing. i just dump my 2mnths loveless relationship before it gets deeper. You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. Never any action. You cant let him be the center of your life! Today I found out that hes planning a trip to Rhode Island to hang out with his cohort in May and has even already booked the hotel yet hes not said a word to me. So, literally, he gives me a quick peck before he goes to work and at least TELLS me he loves me. Its a long distance relationship, we live 2 hours away from each other. You may find it helpful to write about your relationship. My boyfriend is Lebanese and given the situation there (economic crisis, unemployment rate and poverty rate are getting higher), he began manifesting symptoms of an overly stressed man. What started as my dream sex life is now I am lucky if we do it once a month and it is usually on his terms, NOT when *I* am in the mood, planned and boring and routine. We still work on a project together so its not like I can just cut contact entirely, which I figured might be the reason why he is continuing to text, like he doesnt want things to get uncomfortable between us. If youve been together for a long time (a 7 or 8 on that relationship scale at the beginning of this article), then maybe you can see that your boyfriend isnt making an effort because hes dealing with serious issues in other parts of his life. ! And then what we talked about was not set in stone and that things change. I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. He says he feels out of touch with his emotions, and he doesnt know how to think or handle them. Then he complains when I dont cook dinner after working 10 hours a day, I work four-10 hour days, and says all I know how to cook is chicken, which Im a great cook, he is just too lazy to do anything what so ever. Same thing happened another day and another. BALANCE comes easier for women vs. men but does not mean we have to settle. Every time I try to tell him how i feel about him not making an effort in general and on nights out, and social media etc, he usually gets angry/annoyed and makes me feel so bad. This leaves us hanging on in hopes they will be that guy again. Ive been in same situation. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. Im ready to forget everything he did to me and start to trust him.. Wht are the things i can do to bring back trust, spark, and energy to our relationship Please help me.. Thnk u so much. Im just a girl whos watched a fair amount of psychology videos, but I hope that this advice helps you!! Towards the end of September things exploded. He never comes to see me, I always have to go to him. I ask my boyfriend to do simple things like make me a coffee once in while, ask if i got home safe, tell me im beautiful, or just ask me on a date. A week after that, I was at a summer camp and me and him were on ft. everything stopped. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. Ive tried to talk to him and I ask him if Im still his priority and he does say that Im his priority but he never acts like it. I dont know what to do anymore. I am not sure what to think or how to react, I really like him and he is a good respectable person. I got to see him in person for the first time and we were in love. Hes shows effort but due to my insecurities I overthink when I stop seeing the efforts and assume the worst. He never plans to visit me unless I ask him when hes coming, like he doesnt do anything unless I nag him, and I dont want to be a nagging person so I thought its best we go separate ways and see if we can work it out. So, I hate to call him my boyfriend because he is late 50s and I am 47. Find a low-key, nonthreatening way to approach him. We recently broke up with him due to the fact that, despite my efforts to express how I didnt feel like a priority, and him apologizing, him not making an effort to see me during the week (Works been crazy) and saying he would call me at night, but not, he did not change and I gave it 2 1/2 weeks. I feel like I & this relationship deserve more. He assumed I wanted an argument for asking him to take the bin out. 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